Friday, September 11, 2009

Catholic Church and Pregnant Marriage

Okay, so here’s the deal, and try to follow along because my brain is all over the dang place.

If you are pregnant and want to get married in the Catholic Church, the answer is a BIG FAT “NO”.

Makes sense to you, right?

Except that if you are shacking up, the answer is YES.

Don’t forget that couples VOW at their Catholic wedding to welcome tons of babies from God, but then they go the sterilization route once they realize what tons of babies actually looks like (which I totally get and I'm NOT judging those who stop having kids when they know they are done ... I think that's perhaps a good idea!).

So I’m thinking if you are ALREADY pregnant, you are ALREADY fulfilling the vow of having tons of babies, even more so than those who are simply shacking up.

I wish they’d take the vow out about having tons of babies … because you never know how you’re going to take to parenting until you’ve had a kid.

Back to the pregnant Catholics. So they go ahead and get married somewhere else. Then they have the baby. THEN the Catholic Church says, “Okay, we’ll go ahead and BLESS your marriage in a special ceremony.”

Why not just marry the pregnant couple in the first place in the Catholic Church and save the time and expense of the Blessing Ceremony later?

AND start teaching Natural Family Planning in the Catholic schools when children are young so they actually know what the hell it is and get themselves knocked up less often? You’re not handing out condoms, people, you’re just teaching girls and boys about how a woman’s body works so she can avoid pregnancy.

Clearly, I just need to be the Pope.