It sounds so “Housewives of Orange County,” doesn’t it? But, trust me, I would never seek out a facial on my own. My thoughtful husband pampers me about every year with something like a facial or a massage. I think my last one was in January.
I kindly asked him to stop getting me gift certificates for manicures unless he’s going to do the dishes and cleaning for about 2 weeks. Otherwise, it’s just wasted money.
It’s nice to be away from the house for 1 ½ hours, which is rare. I enjoy my facials … ah, the soothing music, the darkened room, the aromatherapy, having my face touched and all the gunk cleaned out of my 37.5-year-old skin. I don’t know how much the facials cost, but the Facialist (not a word, I know) gives me a sheet at the end to show the items I need to purchase to keep my skin all tuned up. This is AFTER she roughs me up by telling me all about my age spots and rosacea.
Here’s the rundown (none of which I buy because I love my L'Oreal stuff):
1. Lavender Cleansing Milk ($20) … or breast milk with purple food coloring?
2. Sea Cleanse ($23) … use sugar or sand from the kids’ sandbox instead!
3. Hydrating Essential Oil ($36) … use olive oil instead?
4. Eco Protective Cream ($30)
5. Purifying Cream ($32)
6. Anti-oxidant Balm ($50)
7. Nutrient K Plus ($54)
8. Glycolic 5% Pads ($30) … what is this???
9. Lip Balm ($6.50) … glorified Chapstick?
10. Eye Contour Serum ($40) … which burned my eyes and made me cry for 10 minutes, so why would I want to drop the equivalent of TEN mocha lattes on it?
11. Hydrating Mask ($19)
For a grand total of $340.50. Probably twice a year.
I don’t know about you, but I don’t even have the TIME it would take to apply all this crap day and night. I don’t even remove my mascara before I go to bed, and my poor teeth don’t get flossed all that often. My mom still looks great, and she’s 21 years ahead of me, so I have hope that I’ll age okay. Still, if I can grow as a person and be good INSIDE, I’ll be happy.
Does Botox freak anyone else out? YEESH! Sure, it would be nice to instantly get rid of my worry line in the center of my forehead, but didn’t I EARN that line worrying about my kids? Just like I earned my cute little stretch marks and my ever-changing boobs.