It sounds so “Housewives of Orange County,” doesn’t it? But, trust me, I would never seek out a facial on my own. My thoughtful husband pampers me about every year with something like a facial or a massage. I think my last one was in January.
I kindly asked him to stop getting me gift certificates for manicures unless he’s going to do the dishes and cleaning for about 2 weeks. Otherwise, it’s just wasted money.
It’s nice to be away from the house for 1 ½ hours, which is rare. I enjoy my facials … ah, the soothing music, the darkened room, the aromatherapy, having my face touched and all the gunk cleaned out of my 37.5-year-old skin. I don’t know how much the facials cost, but the Facialist (not a word, I know) gives me a sheet at the end to show the items I need to purchase to keep my skin all tuned up. This is AFTER she roughs me up by telling me all about my age spots and rosacea.
Here’s the rundown (none of which I buy because I love my L'Oreal stuff):
1. Lavender Cleansing Milk ($20) … or breast milk with purple food coloring?
2. Sea Cleanse ($23) … use sugar or sand from the kids’ sandbox instead!
3. Hydrating Essential Oil ($36) … use olive oil instead?
4. Eco Protective Cream ($30)
5. Purifying Cream ($32)
6. Anti-oxidant Balm ($50)
7. Nutrient K Plus ($54)
8. Glycolic 5% Pads ($30) … what is this???
9. Lip Balm ($6.50) … glorified Chapstick?
10. Eye Contour Serum ($40) … which burned my eyes and made me cry for 10 minutes, so why would I want to drop the equivalent of TEN mocha lattes on it?
11. Hydrating Mask ($19)
For a grand total of $340.50. Probably twice a year.
I don’t know about you, but I don’t even have the TIME it would take to apply all this crap day and night. I don’t even remove my mascara before I go to bed, and my poor teeth don’t get flossed all that often. My mom still looks great, and she’s 21 years ahead of me, so I have hope that I’ll age okay. Still, if I can grow as a person and be good INSIDE, I’ll be happy.
Does Botox freak anyone else out? YEESH! Sure, it would be nice to instantly get rid of my worry line in the center of my forehead, but didn’t I EARN that line worrying about my kids? Just like I earned my cute little stretch marks and my ever-changing boobs.
LOL...You're funny. This is Catrina from the community center. I have a myspace page.It's Here:
ReplyDeletewww.myspace.com/lightning_in_a_bottle
breast milk with purple food coloring! Hahahaha!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteI can't do facials. My skin is so sensitive it breaks out terribly.
And wrinkles, yeah, I'd rather have those than a huge needle coming toward my head!
How funny is your post! I read once that Coco Channel said that after 40 it is either your face or your butt, but one has to go. So I chose to let my butt get big so my face would have no lines. No botox needed here. I love coming to visit...are you working on your book yet????
ReplyDeleteHave A Terrific Tuesday
from Roberta Anne--The Raggedy Girl
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ReplyDeleteHi I see you have your book for sale. I am thinking about writing a cook book ebook but don't know well a lot. I can do it quick but do not know about writing ebooks. So here is my question will you answer some questions for me? I love your blog and am going to buy your book. I will also review it and put it on my blog.
ReplyDeleteI'm not so sure I'd do Botox, since it doesn't come without risks. There are other injectibles, like Restylane, substances that occur naturally in your skin, thus safer. However, like any other injectible, there's maintenance. I can't spend the $500 every 6 months per syringe (and you may need more than one each time!). If money was no object, vanity and curiosity could win out for this girl. Of course, there are also those who go overboard where their wrinkle-free faces look strangely out of sync with their age-spotted hands.
ReplyDeleteI don't have kids, so I've had more time and resources to investigate these treatments (no, I have not had botox or restylane), but micro-dermabrasion and chemical peels - basically an exfoliating mask - give you the best bang for your buck. I had these procedures done prior to my second wedding at age 35 and I can assure you my complexion glowed!
An anti-inflammatory diet and inner peace and beauty are probably the best - but sometimes hardest - remedies for beautiful skin.
Hey, you wanted comments, so here they are, essay length and all! :)
Ha, my next door neighbor is a plastic surgeon and rumor around the hood is that he gives discounts to us on Botox. I am so in for that! The deep crease on my brow from looking at middle schoolers disapprovingly all these years has to go. I have had people say, "Don't you know that Botox is botulism?" My response.... "Yes, but it is FDA approved botulism!!"
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