Gratitude Check

There are crappy times in the life of any mother, stay-at-home or not. I like to gripe as much as anyone about how I'd love to have a cook and a trainer and a cleaning lady and a personal secretary. I'd love to just homeschool and chill with the kids and chase them around and read and write and travel with my family and go on dates with my man and always dress fashionably and have great hair and makeup. So there's the Mommy Curse: to have these wonderful blessings and this great life, we have to deal with all the crap (sometimes literally) that goes along with it.

As we come up on Thanksgiving, I think we're called to really reflect on what we are grateful for, on our blessings. There are always two ways to look at things. Like, for example:

Sure, we are broke, but if we were rich we would probably turn into total JERKS like so many do.

Sure, your kids has autism or Down Syndrome or some other health concern, but at least he is ALIVE.

Sure, your marriage is in trouble, but there is always HOPE and HELP.

Sure, my husband travels for work, but that just means he has a JOB.

Sure, the house is always a mess, but at least we have a place to LIVE.

Sure, my car is dinged up and sometimes doesn't want to start, but at least we have a way to GO PLACES.

Accepting Help as a Mother

People, some days as a parent are just crazy, and you know I'm right because you've been there. Not EVERY day (thank God!), but some days are, as an example, like this:

1. Your husband leaves town for work on a Sunday night.
2. All the kids chase him up the street, waving to him until he's out of sight.
3. You have to stay on top of the baby lest he run into the street. You've birthed 5 babies and really have to remember to buy some adult diapers next time you go to the store since you seem to be running after the littlest one a lot lately.
4. The baby doesn't want to come home, so you pick him up and he gets pissy and knocks your prized Chanel glasses off your face and onto the concrete (I am SO not materialistic, so spending a fortune on glasses that make me look good and help me see AND carry my favorite designer's name was a big deal in my household budget).
5. You have to wrangle the baby all the way down the street, and your middle child skins her toe ... bad. Like blood everywhere bad. You can't pick her up and let the baby run ...
6. ... so a woman you JUST MET who has a dog on a leash offers to carry your bleeding child down the street to your house.

What a lifesaver. What a sweet woman. She got blood on her jeans. I love her.

**As we were cleaning up the toe, Joel came in with a bag of Scout popcorn with a hole in it. He said a critter had been chewing on it in the garage. There goes a $16 bag of popcorn that we will have to pay for AND replace with a fresh back from headquarters. Thank goodness for blogging ... what a great outlet. And for you, well, at least you can say your day was probably better than mine last Sunday :-)

During stressful times, I like to remember happier days, like when we went to Boo at the Zoo a few weeks ago and rode the train. It was a gorgeous day, and we were all together.

Milwaukee's Controversial Cosleeping Ad Campaign Is Ridiculous

Wow. I saw this when I flipped to The Today Show for 2 seconds yesterday. I was immediately pissed. Let me get this straight. I can walk into any clinic today and get an abortion with no problem at all, yet I am made to feel like the world's worst parent for sleeping and snuggling and attending to my baby's needs all night long, also getting more sleep for myself in the process, which makes me a better parent during the day?

I'm not advocating for cosleeping for EVERYONE. Some kids are kickers so the parents need their own space. Some parents need their kid to sleep in a crib for the sake of the marriage. Some parents just completely disagree with cosleeping. That's all fine.

 (*duh disclaimer: of course I don't want you sleeping with your kid if you're drinking or drugging or doing anything totally MORONIC like that!)

It's your CHOICE, just like abortion, right? Just like your choice to beat your kid or leave your tiny baby for a week at a time for a nice vacation. I'm just saying there are so many worse things people do to their kids than cosleeping! Cosleeping has been done around the world since the beginning of time. Americans are the ones who are checked out and detached and pushing down their instincts and emotions with alcohol, drugs (prescription and otherwise), cigarettes, food, and more!

I am biased. I have slept with all FIVE of my children at one time or another since June 2001 when my first son was born. I had the $500 crib and it never got used. Now my sons sleep without me, as does my oldest daughter. Some nights my 3-year-old even snuggled up with her sister instead of with me. Sam sleeps comfortably with Aron and I every night.

We had lots of different reasons for living life this way, and it has always worked out for us. It's a good decision FOR US. Don't shame us for making a parenting decision that is our right to make and likening it to letting our baby have a butcher knife!

I won't go into detail about my other kids, but Sam was in the NICU after birth for a week. You bet your ass I wasn't putting him in a crib without me. I missed him for that week and needed to bond with him. I needed to be with him trying to nurse because I had an infection and didn't have any milk yet. He had some breathing issues and it turned out to be perfect that he was next to me every night ... I was able to help him immediately when he needed help.

By the way, SIDS, anyone? I mean, let's get the stats on SIDS deaths (in a crib) versus cosleeping deaths. I'm betting most cosleeping deaths were also a simple case of SIDS, but because the parents were cosleeping, they are stupid murderers? Ridiculous. Let me go fetch those stats now ...

What Are Your Thanksgiving 2011 Plans?

So what are you doing for Thanksgiving this year?

We've always done this complicated every-third-year thing since my parents divorced and I got married at roughly the same time (ironic, no?). One year with my dad's family, one year with mom's family and one year on our own, which means we try to have Aron's family over.

Lately the "plan" has been getting blown up for different reasons, so this year we're on our own and decided that instead of cleaning the house like we're on crack and then cooking ALL DAY LONG (well, mostly Aron cooks all day long because he makes such cool stuff), we are going to ....

... hang with my mom's family. It's a long drive, but it's SO WORTH IT! All I have to do is make a buttload of mashed potatoes, throw 'em in the car, toss in a few kids and we're off. I might even wear sweats all day. Well, the homeschooling mommybot version of sweats, which is more like a light exercise pant that doesn't have elastic around the ankles. Oh, and Grandma has woods behind her house where we go on little "hikes" to a "stream" ... it's awesome! Instead of fretting all day, I might get to do some scrapbooking while chatting with my family :)

Saying No: Answering the Phone and the Door

I'm often hard to get by phone. That doesn't mean I'm not home.

It means maybe I'm changing a diaper or handling a tantrum or have my hand up a chicken (OMG, who saw Adrienne Maloof on the Housewives wash a chicken with actual HAND SOAP?!) or am outside or in a foul mood and have no business talking to ANYONE.

Same for answering the door. I felt so badly about this, but I saw the candy salesman teenager guy get out of the minivan in front of my house to start selling on my block. It was days after Halloween, I didn't need a $5 candy bar, and I was tapped financially from Girl Scout cookies and Scout popcorn and raffle tickets (I want that Kindle!!!).

I saw him coming. My shades were open and my baby stood in the window. When the doorbell rang, the kids were not quiet. They were loud and I told them to please not answer the door. I told them just because someone comes to your house, you don't have to answer the door (unless they were invited; I'm not THAT mean!).

How do you handle those interruptions during the day?