Crunchy Moms Funny

I've had this one for awhile and wanted to post it. I hope BlogHer doesn't kick my butt because I don't know where the picture came from or who to give credit to for it. Anyway, it rocks. I wish I could make it bigger, though. Enjoy the funny on this hot Kansas City Monday, bloggy pals!

Catholic Charities Doesn't Take Toy Donations?

Way before Christmas I tried to drop off a donation at my local Catholic Charities thrift store. This mean guy looked me straight in the eye and said, "No more toy donations." I tried to ask him why, and when that started but any question I would ask he kept smiling and saying, "No more toy donations." Maybe he didn't speak English or something and that's all he could repeat, but he seemed kinda mean about it.

So I contacted CC by email and the top dog said that was wrong and to keep taking toys there. Then the other day I tried to take some other stuff and a supervisor told me they don't take toys anymore. Of course I can't just say OKAY (my poor parents as I was growing up!) and have to ask questions. He said they still take toys at their other location but not there. When I asked why he said something about kids and loose parts.

Look, I know there are tons of other places I can take used toys. Garage sales are a pain in my butt, but I know I can try to sell the perfect ones to Once Upon a Child first and that there are other places to donate everything else. Heck, there are many charities that will come to my door and pick up donations for free.

I have a few points here:

1. Why does only ONE location not take toys? The kids in one city can choke on loose toy parts but the other kids won't? Maybe the parents are smarter in one city and not in mine. Maybe they supervise their kids better at the other location?
2. Loose toy parts? Heard of shrinkwrap, by the way? That would take care of your problem. I think it's more like the people who work there are annoyed by the kids TESTING OUT the toys! Trust me, I know this may be the case because I've traipsed 5 in there and tried out little bikes before buying!
3. There are people who specifically go to that location to buy toys, and I know there are many people dropping off nice toys there.
4. They are missing out on some money there, so stop bugging me all the time at church about needing money for CC when I'm now wondering if you are even running the dang thing well.

I don't care enough to contact the head CC guy again. Just enough to write a blog post to let ya'll know the deal. Maybe they'll Google themselves and leave me a comment like many businesses do. We shall see!

You Can Only Pick 5 Cable Channels ...

Okay, I have ZERO cable channels, so I like to daydream about what channels I would pick if the cable companies finally pulled their heads out of their butts and let customers choose just a few channels they want for a lower price. My husband would totally go for that, and here are the 5 channels we would get:

Animal Planet because I have animal lovers in the house, and it's educational.

National Geographic because it's educational.

Discovery because ... well, okay, it's educational. This is the only way I would get him to agree to pay for it!

This one is hard. Either Disney or Nickelodeon or Cartoon Network.

Aron doesn't really love sports (except for right now when KU is playing in the FINAL TWO, BABY!), so I would take his choice and pick BRAVO. Sorry, but I love me some reality TV. I'm an only child, so I never learned how to girl fight properly. BRAVO is where I learn to do that. Thank you, Andy Cohen.

For now I will live with Mom taping shows for us off of cable. Billy the Exterminator, Pokemon, Housewives, Worst Cooks in America for Joel, Million-Dollar Listing New York (sociopaths!) and more.

Which ones would YOU pick and why?

I'm Putting My Kids in School and Preschool

Man, I need a break. I'm whipped. Aron's going to start traveling again, and it gets hard to maintain the house and the cooking and to keep everyone clean and cared for. Then you throw homeschooling into the mix, and forget it ... my day is shot. And, well, my writing career is taking off and I really need to nurture it while people want my stuff. It won't wait around for me forever.

The other day we went to the private school to buy trash bags. We get bugged a lot about sending our kids there by people who work there when they see us at church or wherever. Last week this woman really made sense to me. She was like, "They'll have fun here all day. What would you do with yourself all day?" They happen to have a preschool program also where I could put Eva and Sam for at least half a day.

What WOULD I do with myself, being a normal mom and all that? I would exercise and meditate and make thousands of dollars writing (well, about $7,000 or so per year would have to go to the school and preschool, but who is counting?). I would keep an immaculate house and cook things like duck a l'orange and coq au vin. My kids would get a first-class private education.

So in the fall, there they go. I'll miss them and all the fun we have homeschooling. They don't want to go (well, Callie kind of does), but I have to do this for myself. I'll also miss my homeschooling friends. I guess I'll see them around sometimes. Better take down my Facebook homeschool group page.

Sorry, guys, I'm really bad at this kind of stuff because I'm just a bad liar in general so I don't even try ...

Happy April Fool's Day, people! And happy birthday to my niece Lia! We love you ;-)

Anything Bad in Your Life ... You Brought It On Yourself, Dummy!

I sound like an old person when I say: they don't make things like they used to! I'm telling you that THE DAY AFTER our warranties run out lately, machinery is BROKEN! Broken, I tell you, broken.

So here is me standing over my washing machine that doesn't know how to fill itself up with water, the big dummy. And I am so stubborn that I am NOT calling the flipping service center to have someone charge me $100 to PEER inside it and tell me I owe another $300 to fix it.

Poor Aron is getting annoyed with all the broken crap in our home. There's some New Age writer person who says we all bring crap upon ourselves. Cancer, miscarriage, house fires, car accidents, you name it ... you made it happen, you all-powerful negative dummy!

I've pondered this a lot and am not sure I agree with it. You think on it and let me know where you stand.

In the meantime, I will be hand-filling (with a hose) my washing machine and attempting to remember to go down twice to do a rinse load to get the detergent out. Aron probably thinks I'm crazy but I REFUSE to give in to the MACHINERY MAN (Kenmore this time) on this one. I am grateful to have a washing machine and am grateful that all I have to do it stand there and fill it up with water instead of washing clothes down by the crick (creek to you) on a washboard.

Catch you Monday!