People With Only One Kid Have It Soooo Easy

The other day I was at a homeschool park day with some friends. I was running off at the mouth like I do, this time about how hard it would be to have another kid now. I don't think it's particularly my age, although I am more wiped out than usual, but I think that has more to do with the fact that I'm caring for FIVE little people AND homeschooling them and and and ... (and it couldn't possibly have anything to do with the fact that I'm about 20-30 pounds overweight currently).

So I'm griping with a couple of other pals with 5 kids (and one with 10!) about how hard it would be to have another kid and try to get out of the house with just me as the responsible adult. My friend with 10 kids had a good point about how as you have more, the others get older and can help out here and there with going places, Duggar-style ... like not having 100% responsibility for one of your children, but just help schlep stuff and hold hands across the street and things like that.

Then I realized I'm doing all this griping and my friend who *only* has one kid is just listening, not judging or anything, just listening. So I shut up. Only later did I realize that sometimes that ONE kid can be quite a handful, like that one kid can equal 4 of someone else's kids. Like not everybody with an only child should be felt sorry for, as in "oh, she probably couldn't have more kids." No, many of these parents choose to have ONE kid based on all sorts of smart reasons (for example, like they enjoy going on expensive family vacations and being able to pay for their kid's college education while they look at me like I'm insane for not being able to do those things for my children ... we all have different opinions, perspectives and priorities). And my friend should have said, "Shut the hell up, griper, and count yo blessings [typo intended so as to sound like a sassy chick!]."

I'm sure you know by now that I'm an only child. My parents wanted it that way. My mom says she might have had another if things had been a little different in certain areas of her life. Maybe my dad would have been happy with another if it had "just happened" (read: birth control failure).

I don't judge people with only children as if they are all selfish jerks who don't want the work of a big family. Some only children have special needs. Some are just a handful. Some are so wonderful the parents can't imagine having another. Some start older and only can physically have one. Some think people like me are the selfish ones, hogging all the kids.

I think we all have issues nobody even knows about that makes us choose things the way we do. Sometimes maybe it's God choosing for us and we have to trust.

So my blog title is kidding, I'm sure you've figured out by now. So put down the tomatoes and get away from my front door, kay?

Accidental Post: Stuff Versus People: Priorities

Aron’s parents wanted to get rid of a coffee table that Aron’s brother had made, and we took it because it was big and sturdy and similar to our other one. I’d had this old coffee table since 1996.

I LOVED this table. It was long and you could stand on it and it had 2 doors you could open and stash a bunch of blankets or chocolate in. But the reason I’m sad that we put FREE on it and drag it to the front yard is this …

The table had these ends that were open and big enough to put a basket o’ crap under, and all the kids used to climb through the ends when they were small enough.

The other night I watched Eva try to crawl through the ends of the new table, but the ends are too small for storing anything and too small for a baby to crawl through. This made me sad.

Yeah, I get why people love their stuff. It’s because MEMORIES are attached to their stuff. I know I’ll cry like a baby when we move from this house because it’s the house where I brought all my kids after they were born. Joel got upset when he was about 3 because we got rid of our Pontiac Grand Prix and bought a minivan. He was really attached to that car and the memories we’d made in it.

The fact remains that we can’t take any of it with us when we die. Maybe I’ll haunt this house I live in where so many good memories have been made, but it won’t be the same as when I lived the life here. Move on.

Your dead grandma won’t care that you broke her favorite costume jewelry, so quit crying over it. I’m willing to bet she’d much prefer you kiss your kids when you think of her instead of get all upset over something material.

Bottom line and bossy order of the day: Use your stuff, but enjoy the PEOPLE. Put down your cell phone for a minute and stare at someone you love or at a tree. Stop thinking your paperwork or shaving your legs is so detrimental and try to just live a little more for a few minutes a day!

I’m turning into a hippie! Peace out, homeez.

**Crap, I didn't mean to post this. I was re-labeling things to make the blog more simple to navigate and this was OLD and I accidentally published it.

Suing for Wrong Genetic Testing Results

1. Do I really want a nurse taking care of me who got her degree online?
2. Do we still need the Roman numeral system?
3. How come "virtual school" is an online school system? Shouldn't that be what you call Unschooling?
4. Why are DUI checkpoints announced on the radio? Isn't the point to CATCH drunks, not tell them to avoid the checkpoint?
5. I went to a La Leche League meeting once and a mother said she was still nursing her son, who was 47-months old. My mom, who was with me at the time, says to me something along the lines of, "Last time I checked that was 4 years. Just SAY 4 years. You aren't fooling anyone."
6. Isn't suing for bad genetic testing results like suing because you got pregnant while on a birth control pill or while using a condom? Let's all sue Trojan, kay?

This has been deep thoughts with Kerrie, who is here to make you think and to annoy you in general with her poorly formed arguments and "jokes".

Where Do You Have Your Kid's Birthday Party? (and roller skating!!!)

In case you're wondering, this cake says, "Happy Birthday, Callie" and Callie decorated it herself last month for her party. We pretty much always have the kids' birthday party at our own house (cheapskates) and invite friends and family. As the kids get older, some parents drop off their kid and go to the spa (ha!) and some stay because they are not currently avoiding the obnoxiousness that is ME.

Sometimes we splurge on a bouncy house (that's a moonwalk to you and me) in the backyard but I don't think we've ever had a party for our kids offsite. No reason (cheapskates), it's just the way it is because we are so chill and zen and laid-back and go with the flow (sorda).

But I have to tell you I LOVE LOVE LOVE it when other parents have offsite parties to avoid the mess at their own house. I totally get it! We have loved going to a ceramics place and going to a huge bouncy house place and soon the boys get to go to a SKATING PARTY!

I am peeing my pants about the skating party because I used to skate in circles when I was a kid to Another One Bites the Dust by Queen and also Blondie songs and all that late 1970s and early 1980s stuff. Aron will be in town so I MIGHT sneak out and leave him here with the 3 littlest ones and go skating with my boys. I can't do any tricks. I'll likely fall on my butt and crack a hip. But it will be fun to help my boys get up on their skates!

So are you a party-elsewhere parent to keep the mess away? Or a party-at-home parent so you don't have to pack everything up and go somewhere and load the gifts up and bring them home and all that?

Want to Cryovac Your Kids?

I had Aron take this picture because, really, how many more days like this will I get in my life? Days where Sam falls asleep nursing in my lap and I hold him while I write or homeschool or read or watch TV with the kids or whatever? He's growing out of naps. He's talking in little sentences. Potty training is next, and I'm not looking forward to it.

Call me crazy, but I want to somehow cryovac my kids in time. They can still move around and stuff, they just can't get any older. Trust me, there are days when I want to FREEZE them for a few hours so I can have a thought in my head, but most of the time I just want time to stop.

A woman at Aldi last night told me to treasure this time (I only had Sam and Eva with me) because they grow into teenagers. You will think I am nuts, but I won't mind them as teens. It will be a challenge for sure, but I look forward to every day I get to hang with these kids God has entrusted to me.

Before you post a snotty reply about how you can't wait to have a clean house or go on a nice vacation or have sex uninterrupted, go easy on me. Remember that I was 30 before I had my first kid, so I had 6 years with Aron and a few years before that to be naughty. My kids are not my ENTIRE life, but they are currently the biggest part of it along with their dad. And I like it that way :-)