My THREE New Best Friends

I was running out of my current skincare stuff (Aldi face cream and some Roc knockoff from CVS), so it was time to hit the drugstore for some serious stuff. I headed (with 5 kids, picture it) to the CVS armed with my little ad. I was hunting for L'Oreal's Youth Code Starter Kit.

I don't really care what I use. I went to L'ancome's site because they give out tons of MyPoints with a purchase, but that's because a freaking face lotion is over A HUNDRED BONES. Forget that.

Anyway, the Youth Code stuff was on sale AND was going to fetch me 10 Extra Care bucks, so I was all over that deal. Now I can go back to CVS for the humongo bottle of Ibuprofen and B-12 and save 10 bucks on that purchase! Okay, so the kit was 30 bones, and it's just the STARTER KIT. As I told the poor young guy stocking the aisle who pointed me to the product, "This is like the pusher set. L'Oreal gets you started on this stuff and then you are HOOKED and are spending 30 bones every month with ZERO Extra Care bucks. As my dad would say, 'That's how they get ya.'" (Like my use of quotes? Learned that in Life as Fred Math book #2.)

So I call my new best friends Day, Night and Eye. They all share a last name: Cream. They claim they will tackle the signs of fatigue and stress on my face.

How about signs of ANGER and WORRY, like those freaking parentheses between my eyebrows that these days make me look mad even when I'm happy? You could give me a million bucks right now and I could be grinning and STILL look pissed.

I have applied the stuff liberally over face and neck and if I don't wake up looking like a four-year-old tomorrow, I will be truly pissed! I know Crisco would be cheaper, but it doesn't smell as good.

Someday I'll Be a Cat Woman

So yesterday I broke the news that we'll be getting a dog. Well, Aron's actual stipulation was this: "If Mommy isn't pregnant before Sam turns 3, we'll get a dog."

So, sure, sometimes I feel those baby stirrings when I'm around teeny ones. Then I realize I still have a 27-month-old on my boob who would most likely be THAT KID who tries to put his new baby sibling in the trash when my back is turned. So, no plans for now. Stay tuned, though. I'm pretty sure my mom will disown me if I have another, but she'll live.

Growing up we had the typical dogs and cats. I remember one dog kept jumping the fence. One dog kept digging under it. Then there was the night we went to pick up the Persian cat named Marco (Polo!) so he could breed with Pav (piss and vinegar). It was like watching a double-decker bus walk around the living room, and it was weird for me as a 9-year-old to see that crap! Then they had babies, which we sold.


Later, after I was almost 19 and just had a miscarriage, my boyfriend at the time got me a kitten to make me feel better. Then there was another to keep the first company. Then they had babies, and I had cats sleeping all around my head every night, kneading my hair. This is why family bed is so easy for me now!

Anyway, one of the babies would not eat. We had no money but raced to the animal hospital in the middle of the night to buy a teeny bottle and formula, and I tried to keep the kitten alive. It didn't work, and she died, and we buried her in the back yard. I think we got a freaking Chow dog after that. Big mistake.

What's my point? That I'm not exactly excited about getting an animal because I already have 5 of them (just kidding!). I'm just hoping I have the energy to clean up after a sixth little person ... poop, pee, puke, hair, chewed up shoes, doctor visits, baths. The kids will, of course, pick up a ton of the slack there. I want it to sleep in our bed, but Aron already says no. Meanie.

So what kind of dog should we get? I don't like shedding but like some fur. Nothing yappy. We borrowed a shih tzu (I like that it has a cuss word in it's breed) and it rocked. Nothing too big or too small. Something calmish for Michael (remember, his speed of animal is turtle or crab, NOT hyper dog).

New McLoughlin Addition in October

So all my kids have been born in odd years (2001 up to 2009) and in even months (backwards, starting with June back to October). So we're clearly behind schedule for our newest planned addition to the family, which technically should have come in August of 2011. The reason there was no new addition in August 2011 was because, well ...

I NEEDED SOME TIME TO GET MY BRAIN BACK, OKAY? I did get some of my body back by my 40th birthday last summer, but then I lost it again last fall, darnit.

So I suppose I have lost my ever-lovin' mind because things are truckin' along here at the McHousehold. It actually looks kinda CLEAN (gasp) a lot of the time lately and when it looks like an explosion, it's picked up in like 5 minutes. The kids do nice little chores, and Sam plays nicely with the others enough (read: when he's not making messes like peanut butter on the front door or peeling an orange as he walks around the house).

So yes, we have a new addition coming this fall and it is a freakin' DOG.

Don't get me wrong: I LOVE animals. I'll post on that tomorrow. But I am fully aware that a dog is not like our hermit crab or turtle or minnows or hamster. Yes, you read that right. We have PET MINNOWS from last fall. We'll fish with them in the spring ... ha! A dog is a big responsibility, and we get that. I'm a little freaked out. The things we do for our kids, sheesh. Got any advice for me?

Cut Your Time in the Kitchen!

The last few nights we've had something going on and of course those are the days Sam has chosen to get on a little nap "schedule" ... meaning, he sleeps around 4-6 or so, which runs into dinner-making time and activities, so I end up either making dinner with him over my shoulder (yes, I hold him for naps, still ... sue me!). Or we have whatever we can find. Or Joel makes something easy. The third option is awesome because Joel gets to feel helpful and IS very helpful and can prepare boxed au gratin potatoes and put them in the oven or cook Spam on the stove and then peel oranges for our "veggie."

Anyway, this is driving me nuts and I'm DONE! So I've bought the stuff to make lots of meals so I will always have something to thaw in the morning (in the oven) and then if Sam is asleep on me I can just ask Joel to turn on the oven! So simple! Check out my article at North Texas Kids here about this topic ... I have other things I really want to try to cut my time in the kitchen!

But watch who you ask to do the meal swap, readers, because it didn't work out too well for me. I could be funny here, but I don't want to offend the few friends I have left. Let's just say some of them eat in a healthier manner than I myself do. And that some of the things they requested be left out of their meals I have never heard of. Some of them need double batches of food and some of them need half batches. I'll save the funnies for my memoir and then I can buy my offended friends an apology Starbuck's coffee with my book money and it will all be good. Let's just say there ain't gonna be no meal swap happening anytime soon. But try my other ideas and let me know how they work out for you!

My Kids Are Named After Music Stuff

Sometimes in the night I just can't sleep. I think it's because of all the nights I was woken up every two hours like clockwork over the years. I don't know what to do with a 2-year-old who sleeps pretty soundly through the night next to me and a 4-year-old who sleeps like a log. The others sleep great, too, since Joel's sleep problems have disappeared!

Anway, when I can't sleep I pray and think. The other night I was thinking about how much I've always loved music. Then I was thinking about my kids' names. Here's what I came up with how I subliminally named my kids:

Joel was named after Billy Joel, a great singer. He was married to Christie Brinkley, and when I was like 8 years old a boy told me I looked like her.

Michael was named after George Michael, who I was in love with before I figured out he was gay.

Callie was named after California Dreamin', a great song I've always loved. Chyna Phillips is the daughter of Michelle Phillips, and Chyna's song Hold On got me through my first marriage.

Eva is named after Little Eva because I love the song Locomotion.

Sam is named after Sailor Sam in the Paul McCartney and Wings song Band on the Run.

Freaky, right?!