Dino Bowling

Michael strikes again (get it?!) ... dino bowling.

I Hate Clothes Shopping

I know, my son tells me most girls like to shop. I, however, would rather get a root canal or clean the bathroom toilet with my own toothbrush. And then brush my teeth with it.

When I grocery shop, I know I will come out of the store with what I went in for. Same at the homeschool store.

Clothes shopping is not a sure thing. First you have to find something you like. Then you have to find it in a size that fits. Spending quality time in a dressing room is not my idea of fun. Wait, there’s a step for me that comes BEFORE first. That step is called: Secure a person at home to watch the other kids while you go shopping for the kid in question or for yourself.

Don’t get me started on bathing suit shopping, which is something I need to do since I’m not pregnant this year and won’t need a nursing suit because I’m hoping Sam can get through a couple of hours at the pool without nursing. Or maybe I should look at tankinis? Flowy ones. Maybe I’ll hunt down a maternity nursing suit. What a mess.

My dream closet at this point in my life would consist of 7 T-shirts in the same size in different colors that show off my waist and minimize my tummy and chest. Then throw in 7 of those in long-sleeved, plus some jeans and shorts and you’ve got a deal.

Thank you Jesus for hand-me-downs (clothes, shoes, bathing suits for the kids plus all the clothes for me personally) from my friends. Without them my husband would not have a boat, for sure. So if you’ve ever given us your kids’ old clothes, you may call my husband for a ride in his fishing boat.

Starbuck’s Via Instant Coffee

I’m not normally a fan of instant coffee, but a friend who works at Starbuck’s gave me some of the “markout” (meaning past or almost past the expiration date; Starbuck’s are sticklers for freshness) Via instant coffee packets. My friend cringed when I told her how I make my Via because apparently microwaving kills something in the milk and I should STEAM it (yeah, right), but here’s my “recipe” anyway:

Pour 1 cup milk and 1 cup water into a 2 cup container.

Microwave until smokin’ hot (which is like 3 minutes on my microwave since it’s literally from 1990).

Pour Via packet into milk/water mixture and stir.

Add cream and sugar to taste (for me, it’s about a cup of sugar and 19 tablespoons of powdered creamer) and stir.

Pour into a coffee mug and enjoy. Nuke the rest later and pour it into your mug, as well.

*This recipe is for coffee lightweights like myself who have never had a cup of black coffee.

Undie Hats

Poor Sam. He is Child #5. And as such he has to wear Hannah Montana underwear on his head like a little French beret. And then he is made to say "Cheese" or fromage or queso or whatever. Such a good sport.

I Don’t Own a Crib

Don’t freak out on me here. Stay with me. Hear me out.

The year was 2000, and my boss gave me a sweet bonus for Christmas. Seeing as how I was a whopping 2 months pregnant, I knew it was time to go baby shopping. But what to get? There was so much out there. I decided on a $100 double stroller which I still have (duct taped on the storage basket underneath, of course, because that’s just how I roll … cheap) and a crib.

I got a $400 crib and a $100 mattress. My kid would have to have the best, hardest, safest mattress and the prettiest crib. Dark wood with a storage drawer underneath.

Fast forward to our first night with a new baby at home. We tried, like normal people, to lay him in the crib once I nursed him to sleep. Lucky for me, I got me a husband who could not stand to hear our baby cry, and not just because he wanted some sleep. I nursed baby Joel in bed and we fell asleep and never looked back.

After that, the crib was kept for sentimental purposes and because we were maybe hoping to have a baby who would at least NAP in the darn thing, but crazy me always wanted to hold my babies for naps, so the crib sat all lonely.

When I was pregnant with my third, I tried to sell the crib. A first-time preggie came by with her husband wondering why I was selling it and I told her we sleep with our kids and they looked at me like I told her I’m a polygamist. They did not buy the crib.

A family friend ended up trading us the crib for a cool couch for our living room. This is the same couch on which Sam was almost born.

To answer your question in advance: no, we don’t sleep with all 5 of our kids. The oldest boys sleep in bunk beds in their own room and have for about 4 years. Callie just moved in to her own room after Aron got it all painted and pretty for her. Eva sleeps in her own twin bed pushed up to our bed. Sam snuggles with us every night and sleeps on me every day while I read to the kids, watch some TV, return phone calls, homeschool or whatever.

Thanks for listening. I'm not so crazy after all, am I? Don't answer that.