Okay, so back when I only had one kid I came up with an idea for a line of Attachment Parenting stickers for scrapbookers. I was sick of all the damn baby bottle stickers and pacifiers and cribs.
I thought there should be some cool cloth diaper stickers, some slings, some depiction of the family bed, a tasteful rendition of the nursing mother/baby couple, a Boppy pillow.
I researched and had a lot of fun dreaming of who would stock these stickers, who would buy them, who would use them in their scrapbooks.
Then I got pregnant with Michael and got tired. And decided to sell Creative Memories scrapbooking products instead. I became a Creative Memories CONSULTANT. Sounds hootie-ta (definition: uppity, impressive), doesn’t it?
Then I realized I couldn’t sell worth a crap. And that I was using up all the non-existent profits, which sent me into a tiny bit of credit card debt.
To digress: Can you imagine me being a chocolate salesperson? I’d have to sell the house and live in a trailer to pay off what I ate instead of sold.
Anyway, the credit card debt led me to the whole church babysitting thing. Which is another story.
And because you insist, I’ll tell you about it tomorrow.
Saturday, November 22, 2008
Friday, November 21, 2008
PMS Puppy Chow
Eva is almost a year old, which means I’m due for my period anytime now. It’s been like 20 months and I have NOT missed Aunt Flo at all. And don't even comment "too much information" cuz I KNOW that!
So here’s a recipe for something I can’t get enough of lately:
Puppy Chow (although the way I eat it, let’s call it Piggy Chow)
9 cups any Chex cereal (off-brand is just dandy)
1 cup semisweet chocolate chips
½ cup peanut butter
¼ cup (1/2 stick) butter or margarine
1 t. vanilla
2 cups powdered sugar
There are many different ways of doing this, so I’m going to give you a couple of ideas:
1. Melt chips, peanut butter and butter in large pan. Take off burner and add vanilla. Add cereal and mix it all up, trying not to crush the cereal. Then add powdered sugar.
2. Put cereal in big bowl. Melt other ingredients in small saucepan, adding vanilla at the end. Pour mixture over cereal and stir. Then pour the whole she-bang into a big old Tupperware container, add powdered sugar and shake.
3. Do the same as above, but put cereal/mixture into large paper bag, THEN add powdered sugar and shake.
4. Do the same as above, but put cereal/mixture into large plastic 2-gallon resealable bag, add powdered sugar and shake.
The Chex people say to do #4, but I’m telling you I’ve done this before and the chocolate mixture MELTED THE BAG.
Maybe I’m just not cut out for this Domestic Goddess job.
I’m sure Step-Witch and Smoosh will have a comment for me on this one since they are the pushers who turned me on to this concoction in the first place.
So here’s a recipe for something I can’t get enough of lately:
Puppy Chow (although the way I eat it, let’s call it Piggy Chow)
9 cups any Chex cereal (off-brand is just dandy)
1 cup semisweet chocolate chips
½ cup peanut butter
¼ cup (1/2 stick) butter or margarine
1 t. vanilla
2 cups powdered sugar
There are many different ways of doing this, so I’m going to give you a couple of ideas:
1. Melt chips, peanut butter and butter in large pan. Take off burner and add vanilla. Add cereal and mix it all up, trying not to crush the cereal. Then add powdered sugar.
2. Put cereal in big bowl. Melt other ingredients in small saucepan, adding vanilla at the end. Pour mixture over cereal and stir. Then pour the whole she-bang into a big old Tupperware container, add powdered sugar and shake.
3. Do the same as above, but put cereal/mixture into large paper bag, THEN add powdered sugar and shake.
4. Do the same as above, but put cereal/mixture into large plastic 2-gallon resealable bag, add powdered sugar and shake.
The Chex people say to do #4, but I’m telling you I’ve done this before and the chocolate mixture MELTED THE BAG.
Maybe I’m just not cut out for this Domestic Goddess job.
I’m sure Step-Witch and Smoosh will have a comment for me on this one since they are the pushers who turned me on to this concoction in the first place.
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Food Processors
So I went looking for a food processor at Target for Aron’s birthday. And yes, that IS what he asked for. He’s wanted one forever, and I’ve been too paranoid about the ultra-sharp blades in the company of children to ever buy him one. He LOVES to cook, makes spaghetti sauce, etc., so he really wanted a food processor.
The first thing I notice is Target doesn’t carry Cuisinart food processors. They only carry Kitchen-Aid (a reputable brand of mixer, to be sure), Oster (a good blender, right?) and Black and Decker (good tools).
I wasn’t sure what to do. I tried to call Tresa but got no reception on my end. So I had to use my bean. I could smell the smoke coming out of my ears from overuse.
Hmmm. The Oster and the B&D have a 10-cup capacity. The Kitchen-Aid only has 7. BUT the Kitchen-Aid is twice the cost, and don’t you get what you pay for? The Oster was on sale like ½ price, and I wondered why. The Oster and B&D floor models were trashed out and looked cheap.
So I went for the Kitchen-Aid.
What would you have done or what brand do you own and love?
The first thing I notice is Target doesn’t carry Cuisinart food processors. They only carry Kitchen-Aid (a reputable brand of mixer, to be sure), Oster (a good blender, right?) and Black and Decker (good tools).
I wasn’t sure what to do. I tried to call Tresa but got no reception on my end. So I had to use my bean. I could smell the smoke coming out of my ears from overuse.
Hmmm. The Oster and the B&D have a 10-cup capacity. The Kitchen-Aid only has 7. BUT the Kitchen-Aid is twice the cost, and don’t you get what you pay for? The Oster was on sale like ½ price, and I wondered why. The Oster and B&D floor models were trashed out and looked cheap.
So I went for the Kitchen-Aid.
What would you have done or what brand do you own and love?
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
When Are Kids Old Enough to Have a Pet?
We don’t have a pet. Sweetie the hamster died about a year ago, and the Grow-a-Frog died (after a very short life) this summer. Getting a dog freaks me out and here’s why.
I would have to pick up poop. I would have to feed and water the dog. I would have to remember to get it shots and tags. I would have to rearrange our lives and race it to the vet if it got sick. And if it got REALLY sick, there goes our modest savings account.
“But your kids are old enough to help,” you say. Sure, but WILL THEY? Without constant hounding, I mean. It would clearly be up to ME to keep the thing alive. I have FOUR people to keep alive on a daily basis plus myself. That’s plenty for now.
And if you’re wondering why I’m such a curmudgeon, let me give you my pet history. I had the requisite dogs and cats growing up, and they were lovely. I got to see cats make babies and the babies being born. When I was older, I had about 3 cats of my own, then a few babies came out of that. I had about 5 cats sleeping around my head on any given night. And I loved it.
I picked up a stray cat one night at a gas station, and Aron let me keep it at his apartment. She was a schizoid cat. Later, in searching for Aron’s lost male cat, we got another cat. They were fine until we started having kids. The schizoid girl crapped all over the place. They both scratched up the furniture. Joel ate their cat food and played in their cat box. It became a problem.
So I know what hard work pets are. Who do you think cleaned Sweetie the hamster’s cage, maggots in the summer and all? Kept her fed and watered? Played with her? Carried her in a tiny sling while I did dishes?
If my kids were pets, Joel would be a Chihuahua. Michael would be a turtle. Callie would be a Siamese cat. Eva would be a bunny rabbit.
I would have to pick up poop. I would have to feed and water the dog. I would have to remember to get it shots and tags. I would have to rearrange our lives and race it to the vet if it got sick. And if it got REALLY sick, there goes our modest savings account.
“But your kids are old enough to help,” you say. Sure, but WILL THEY? Without constant hounding, I mean. It would clearly be up to ME to keep the thing alive. I have FOUR people to keep alive on a daily basis plus myself. That’s plenty for now.
And if you’re wondering why I’m such a curmudgeon, let me give you my pet history. I had the requisite dogs and cats growing up, and they were lovely. I got to see cats make babies and the babies being born. When I was older, I had about 3 cats of my own, then a few babies came out of that. I had about 5 cats sleeping around my head on any given night. And I loved it.
I picked up a stray cat one night at a gas station, and Aron let me keep it at his apartment. She was a schizoid cat. Later, in searching for Aron’s lost male cat, we got another cat. They were fine until we started having kids. The schizoid girl crapped all over the place. They both scratched up the furniture. Joel ate their cat food and played in their cat box. It became a problem.
So I know what hard work pets are. Who do you think cleaned Sweetie the hamster’s cage, maggots in the summer and all? Kept her fed and watered? Played with her? Carried her in a tiny sling while I did dishes?
If my kids were pets, Joel would be a Chihuahua. Michael would be a turtle. Callie would be a Siamese cat. Eva would be a bunny rabbit.
Friday, November 14, 2008
The Red Lobster Interrogation
So Aron got a special little bonus for traveling so much and told the kids we could eat out anywhere they wanted. They LOVE popcorn shrimp, so they chose Red Lobster (a personal favorite of mine, as well).
Toward the end of the meal, a couple of older people told us how well we are raising our children because they were behaving so great. I tried to tell them it was only because I wore their little butts out at the park for 2 hours before dinner, but they insisted I was Mother of the Year, so I basked in that.
Until the woman from the next table over (what is it about a large family that brings people out of the woodwork with opinions and questions?) chimes in with, “They ARE doing very well.” I thanked her, trying to return my focus to my family dinner and chocolatey dessert.
Then I hear, “I’ll bet you homeschool them, too.” Where the hell did THAT come from? I said, “Actually, we do. How could you tell? I’m not even wearing a denim jumper.” She said she was just guessing but wasn’t surprised. O-kay.
Again I try to focus on my wriggling baby and DESSERT, and the kids whose behavior is starting to deteriorate.
Then She asks me if I do it for religious reasons. I said, “Well, yes. I do it because Catholic school is too damn expensive!!!” She looked at me funny, so I explained my usual deal: I started it to keep them close, it made sense, it was cheaper, takes less time, allows us all kinds of freedom of education, field trips, spontaneous play and learning, lots of time with grandparents and other family members, we can cater to their individual needs, and because Aron travels and we get to go with him sometimes, which helps to keep our family a cohesive unit.
AGAIN with the dessert, which I am now cramming into a to-go box next to my garlicky shrimp pasta.
The she says, “My husband wants to know if you were a teacher before?” I said, “Nope. Only 2 years of community college, too. We use a packaged curriculum, but you don’t really even need to do THAT.”
“Are you in the homeschool association?” Well, there’s not really one, so I tell her I’m in about 4 homeschool groups and that the kids are practically OVER-socialized.
“I’ll bet they go to bed late.” I said, “Yeah, they do. Like 10 p.m. And then I wake them up at 4 a.m. with a bugle and make them do push-ups and jumping jacks.”
No answer.
Then we beat it out of there before she could get our license plate number and report us to The State. My friend Leigh always tells me I’m too honest, especially with people I don’t know. But I don’t like to blow smoke up people’s butts, ya know? I could’ve played Suzy Homeschooler and lied about bedtimes and such, but why? I’m not doing anything wrong.
And if you could meet my kids you’d see I’m doing a lot of things RIGHT. Jeez, call The State on me if I’m smoking crack in bed til 3 p.m. every day or leaving my kids at home alone. But HOMESCHOOLING? I’m not doing it because I’m too lazy to drive my kids to school or oversee their homework.
Toward the end of the meal, a couple of older people told us how well we are raising our children because they were behaving so great. I tried to tell them it was only because I wore their little butts out at the park for 2 hours before dinner, but they insisted I was Mother of the Year, so I basked in that.
Until the woman from the next table over (what is it about a large family that brings people out of the woodwork with opinions and questions?) chimes in with, “They ARE doing very well.” I thanked her, trying to return my focus to my family dinner and chocolatey dessert.
Then I hear, “I’ll bet you homeschool them, too.” Where the hell did THAT come from? I said, “Actually, we do. How could you tell? I’m not even wearing a denim jumper.” She said she was just guessing but wasn’t surprised. O-kay.
Again I try to focus on my wriggling baby and DESSERT, and the kids whose behavior is starting to deteriorate.
Then She asks me if I do it for religious reasons. I said, “Well, yes. I do it because Catholic school is too damn expensive!!!” She looked at me funny, so I explained my usual deal: I started it to keep them close, it made sense, it was cheaper, takes less time, allows us all kinds of freedom of education, field trips, spontaneous play and learning, lots of time with grandparents and other family members, we can cater to their individual needs, and because Aron travels and we get to go with him sometimes, which helps to keep our family a cohesive unit.
AGAIN with the dessert, which I am now cramming into a to-go box next to my garlicky shrimp pasta.
The she says, “My husband wants to know if you were a teacher before?” I said, “Nope. Only 2 years of community college, too. We use a packaged curriculum, but you don’t really even need to do THAT.”
“Are you in the homeschool association?” Well, there’s not really one, so I tell her I’m in about 4 homeschool groups and that the kids are practically OVER-socialized.
“I’ll bet they go to bed late.” I said, “Yeah, they do. Like 10 p.m. And then I wake them up at 4 a.m. with a bugle and make them do push-ups and jumping jacks.”
No answer.
Then we beat it out of there before she could get our license plate number and report us to The State. My friend Leigh always tells me I’m too honest, especially with people I don’t know. But I don’t like to blow smoke up people’s butts, ya know? I could’ve played Suzy Homeschooler and lied about bedtimes and such, but why? I’m not doing anything wrong.
And if you could meet my kids you’d see I’m doing a lot of things RIGHT. Jeez, call The State on me if I’m smoking crack in bed til 3 p.m. every day or leaving my kids at home alone. But HOMESCHOOLING? I’m not doing it because I’m too lazy to drive my kids to school or oversee their homework.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)