The Turtle's Vagina

All in a day’s work, January 2, 2012

Callie: About the turtle, “Michael, I think he’s a girl. I think I saw his vagina.”

Eva: “With all of the food I ate, I had a bad poop.”

Breastfeeding Art by Picasso!

Did you know Picasso did a painting of a woman nursing her infant? I discovered this painting at my friend Jill's house [Jill, if you're reading this, please comment with your blog address so people can come see you!].

Last fall I finally got back enough brainpower (it takes me two years after having a baby to be normal again!) to realize that I could order my own print of this off the Internet and get it framed at Michael's. So now I have it hanging in our bedroom over Eva's twin bed. Whenever Sam sees it, he gets all excited and says "nay nay", which is how my last 3 kids have said nursing. The boys always said "tetita", which is a quasi-Spanish word we learned from my sister-in-law who grew up in Panama.

ANYWAY, I apologize for digressing like I always do! My question is: do you own art? This is my only piece. Aron has some cool coastline paintings and a Calvin and Hobbes painting his brother did. The kids have a couple of cool ocean paintings from my mom and my friend Alex. I used to have those cheapo posters of like James Dean and Marilyn Monroe and the Eiffel Tower and Abbey Road but those are long gone. Do those count as art?

FYI: I got my piece at www.art.com for only like $16 using MyPoints (25% off plus I got MyPoints)!

A New Year's Eve Gripe: YES or NO to Last Friday Night

I will leave 2011 with a nice peevey gripe, because that's what I do. And, as always, I'd love to know what you think! See you in 2012 ...

I can’t tell you how badly I hate this song (Last Friday Night by Katy Perry). And you know I like some pretty racy songs. I do love the beat and sometimes can’t get it out of my head when I hear like one bar of it before I get the chance to change the station. Here are my issues with it:

1.      Woke up with a stranger in her bed. Nice. She’s lucky he/she didn’t kill her in her sleep.

2.      Is it a hickey or a bruise? Hmmm, both are bad. I never understood the point of a hickey. They hurt when you get them and then you just try to cover them up. Who enjoys sucking on someone’s neck, anyway?

3.      Menage a trois. Great. Let’s teach our kids that one partner is never enough. Why not go out and have an affair after you get married, son? Spice things up!

Kids come over with this song on their cell phones and I have to tell them just about anything goes at my house (sugar! Dancing! Screaming! Running!) but not this song. As the queen of inappropriateness and too much information, I take every chance I get to school kids on what things in the song mean.

Of course, take this post with a grain of salt (or sugar!) because I am the one who heard a commercial in the 70s and went around saying, “Wham Bam Thank Ya Ma’am!” for weeks until my dad heard me and gave me a look and told me to Stop Right Now. He didn’t tell me what it meant; I figured that one out later.