Saturday, December 31, 2011

A New Year's Eve Gripe: YES or NO to Last Friday Night

I will leave 2011 with a nice peevey gripe, because that's what I do. And, as always, I'd love to know what you think! See you in 2012 ...

I can’t tell you how badly I hate this song (Last Friday Night by Katy Perry). And you know I like some pretty racy songs. I do love the beat and sometimes can’t get it out of my head when I hear like one bar of it before I get the chance to change the station. Here are my issues with it:



1.      Woke up with a stranger in her bed. Nice. She’s lucky he/she didn’t kill her in her sleep.

2.      Is it a hickey or a bruise? Hmmm, both are bad. I never understood the point of a hickey. They hurt when you get them and then you just try to cover them up. Who enjoys sucking on someone’s neck, anyway?

3.      Menage a trois. Great. Let’s teach our kids that one partner is never enough. Why not go out and have an affair after you get married, son? Spice things up!



Kids come over with this song on their cell phones and I have to tell them just about anything goes at my house (sugar! Dancing! Screaming! Running!) but not this song. As the queen of inappropriateness and too much information, I take every chance I get to school kids on what things in the song mean.



Of course, take this post with a grain of salt (or sugar!) because I am the one who heard a commercial in the 70s and went around saying, “Wham Bam Thank Ya Ma’am!” for weeks until my dad heard me and gave me a look and told me to Stop Right Now. He didn’t tell me what it meant; I figured that one out later.

Thursday, December 29, 2011

Stompeez STINK! (and update

Actually, I don't know about the actual product called Stompeez because THEY NEVER ARRIVED!

My mom had me order these for the kids on November 25th. On December 16th I called to see what the deal was since these things cost and arm and a leg and the shipping cost is ridiculous. I was on hold 20 minutes and then was told they would go out "this week". Hmmm, I called on a FRIDAY. So I asked, "So they are going out TODAY since that's the last day of the freaking week?" Probably to shut me up, they said yes.

Guess what? Christmas Day came and still no Stompeez. It's now the 29th of December and they have still not arrived. If they don't come over the weekend, we're going to try to cancel our order, which should be very interesting indeed. Of course I'll call first to see what's up so I can get some more smoke blown up my ... you know. I'll let you know.

P.S. I know the website says they'll come in 4-6 weeks, and today is the end of the 5th week only. I guess I should give them another week and see. Still, what's the holdup? And don't tell me my order is going out when it is NOT! See below for update:

As of this writing, it has been 6 weeks and one day and NO STOMPEEZ. My mom is going to wait for her credit card to make sure they haven't charged her, then we will just cancel the dang things. What is the freaking holdup? They are slippers, for God's sake!

1/16/12 update still no Stompeez. Don't make me call you crazy people! By the way, see if you can spot the SIX DIFFERENT WAYS they spell their product name on the website!

2/27/12 Update. They finally arrived in February. They sent me an email that said they accidentally wiped out my order and input it again and shipped it. Guess what? It was FREAKING WRONG. So we have only 3 sets instead of the 4 we ordered, and the sizes and types are WRONG. Do you think I'm calling them? No. Do you think I'm ordering the other pair again. HELL NO!

Do not order from this company ... maybe someday they will get their crap together!

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

“The Sociopath Next Door” by Martha Stout, PhD

I believe this book should be required reading for high school students (along with The Art of Natural Family Planning so everyone knows how a female’s cycle works and we see a drastic reduction in “accidental” pregnancies … love adoption, hate abortion).



Martha Stout has written a rockin’ book that keeps the reader interested. She claims that only about 4% of the population is sociopathic (interchangeable with being psychopathic) and have a total absence of conscience.



Ruminate on that for a minute. NO CONSCIENCE. Like you could do anything and not feel bad. Like you try to fit in so you can charm people, you mimic their facial expressions and you are basically an actor your entire life so you can hang out in society. People are a game to you.



I have come across a few of these people in my life, and I have to say it is SCARY. You can’t reason with them because they simply don’t care. They like to mess with you like a chess piece because they get bored easily. They tell lies about you to anyone who will listen. You are a thing to them, and if they focus on you, your life is to be destroyed.



This book has a nice tip to help you start thinking about who the sociopaths in your life could possibly be (let’s not forget those BORDERLINE personalities, too, who make up another ??? of the population, holy crap!). Then it has an entire chapter with 13 tips on how to protect yourself from them. For instance, I like to fight back by nature because I’m scrappy (according to Tresa), but the tactic to take with sociopaths is AVOIDANCE.



Of course, don’t minimize the importance of your INSTINCTS. If something doesn’t feel right, why do we just keep going back to it? I personally do it because I’m curious by nature and want to know what the heck is wrong with this person who I just saw “crying” and realize I’ve never seen anyone cry that way in my life … like a bad acting cry, like mimicking a cry. (spoiler from the book: people who always seem to play on your pity and take, take take should send up a red flag!).



At the ripe young age of 40, I’m glad I came across this book because I am a Pleaser and try to Be Nice and Get Along. This book has taught me to put on my Big Girl Panties and stay away from the Crazies so I can protect my most valuable asset: my family.



I’ll leave you with a quote: “Perhaps the most easily recognized example is the battered wife whose sociopathic husband beats her routinely and then sits at the kitchen table, head in his hands, moaning that he cannot control himself and that he is a poor wretch whom she must find it in her heart to forgive.” And she does forgive him, time and time again, until she finally figures it out and gets the hell away from him forever and goes on to live a full and rich life like she never imagined possible while she was being beaten!



I wonder if maybe sociopaths were born without a soul. My husband thinks that’s preposterous. What do you think? Report back here with your socio/psychopath stories! Mine is above. You’re welcome!

Monday, December 26, 2011

Merry Day-After-Christmas (a.k.a. Return Stuff Day)

Merry Day After Christmas! I hope you are all enjoying yourselves and are successfully cleaning up after the Christmas Carnage. We're doing pretty good here due to some pre-Christmas stuff purging. I'm wondering if Santa came to your house? Does he bring too dang much when he comes? How do you ask Santa to bring less?

We love our zoo membership from my mom, and the new clothes from Dad and Nancy were a hit since they wear 99% hand-me-downs. Oh, and the remote control helicopters from step-Dave were awesome. And by the way, a sweet woman from church said Santa came early to her house and delivered gifts to each of my kids early, which they opened yesterday. They were toys, but they LOVE every single one and each one was so perfect for my kids' personalities (no, they don't have multiple personalities, I'm just not sure how to grammarize that sentence). So, thank you to Kay and Amanda so so much! Michael's new teeny turtle (Giggy) got a ride on Sam's dumptruck. Poor thing.

Then there's Eva's Pikachu pillow pet and Callie's American Girl knockoff and Joel's Nerf Longstrike gun and my Happy perfume and WOW! pens and  ... I'd better stop now.

Basically, I want to know how your Sunday (yesterday) was. Leave me a comment here or on Facebook, because sometimes it's just easier to leave on there, let's face it.

Love to my friends, family and followers! Have a great week! Photos to come!

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Your Baby Can Read! Who Cares?!

LOOK! Sam can read! My baby can read! Wow! Wait, he's not really reading, is he? He's just looking at a book while relaxing all cozy with his water bottle next to him. If he could read, that would be pretty cool, but I'm certainly not TEACHING him to read anytime soon. What do you think about teaching babies to read? I mean, who cares? It's like bragging that your 1-year-old is potty-trained and my 3-year-old is not (for the record, I don't have a 3-year-old, as Michael is sitting here pointing out to me! Eva is 4 and potty trained). Who cares? It all shakes out by the time they are 18, right? The playing field is kinda evened out by then, don't you think? So my baby sleeps with me. He won't be at 18. So he's nursing still. He won't be at 18! Maybe your 12-year-old is a real jerk right now. Maybe he'll be better at 18,  maybe not. Dangit! I always refute my own arguments! Gotta go.

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Dena's Vintage Closet in Kentucky

I am in love with vintage stuff and always have been. When I was 18 I got the greatest black cashmere 1960s coat at a vintage shop in Manitou Springs, Colorado and was hooked. Later I got things like 1960s cocktail dresses (I think I fit in that turquoise gorgeous concoction ONCE to go to the Savoy Grill; after that I was never that tiny again) and other great items. I even temporarily owned a Herman Miller couch ... coffee tables built into each end and green/blue plaid on the back.

I currently sport a Marcwyn 1960s red wool coat with big buttons. Today someone at Westlake Hardware told me I was very Jackie O ... what a compliment! So I decided to look for my coat online to see where it would lead me and found Dena's Vintage Closet. I had always thought I couldn't afford to go vintage or that I wouldn't have the time to shop that way (with all the kids in tow!), but now I see I can go online! Yippee! Do you have any favorite vintage places to shop?

*The coat above is a 1960s swing coat and is only $39 ... and will stand the test of time for sure. I'm sick of buying crap at Target and WalMart and even Eddie Bauer and having it get holey after a few washes. I'm going to start investing in vintage things that are classy!

Monday, December 19, 2011

Clean Up Your Dog's Poop, Moron!


People act like I'm the craziest woman on earth for toting 5 kids around. It's like they think I don't know how to use birth control, but I know better than 99% of the USA how my flipping cycles work and when to AVOID getting pregnant so I never have to utter those assinine words, "I had a surprise pregnancy!" It's never really a surprise unless you were not aware you were having intercourse, no?

Anyway, I want to know who is stupider in society ... me for having a bunch of kids or those people who let their dog rule their life and crap all over the place and don't pick it up.

If I change a freaking diaper in public it's an outrage. If I step in your dog's crap, that's somehow okay and I have no way of tracking your nasty ass down. I think we need to start a DNA database for all animals so I know who is letting their dog crap in the grass at Target and is not picking it up. And who is using the grass at the school park like a dog park and then kids ride their bikes through and step all over dog crap.

Yeah, I know some dogs are strays and they are the ones pooping. Still, a database would take care of that. You could track down the original owner and make them come pick up the poop within 24 hours or send them a $50 ticket. I'm just brainstorming here, folks. It's not a foolproof plan ... yet.

Saturday, December 17, 2011

McLoughlin Family Christmas Letter 2011 With BONUS Pics!

I ordered these awesome photo Christmas cards and picked them up from CVS and don't have a file, so here's a picture of the picture I ordered. Scroll down for the actual letter with BONUS photos! It's your lucky day! Whoot whoot! Whoo ho! Boo-ya!


So here's the annual Christmas letter. I'm not sure why I even write one since I have the blog. I started doing it because my husband's family always did one and I thought it was neat. The thing is, they started it because they moved AWAY and had to do a letter to keep everyone up with them and their 5 kids. My mother-in-law used to use clear gelatin to make copies of the letters. No joke, folks.
Merry Christmas! Here’s a little update (youngest kid to oldest kid) so you have something to read while you use the restroom (it doubles as toilet paper!):
Samuel turned 2 in October and loves trains, fire trucks, anything that makes noise and BALLS. The boy scares me with how he can dribble a basketball and then sit on it like he’s some lifetime player. Put a soccer ball in front of his foot and he’ll kick it into any goal. He is ornery, but lucky for him his cuteness offsets that. We’re currently trying to keep him from unwrapping ALL the gifts under the tree.
Eva turned 4 this month and loves anything Barbie. She likes to play with babies, have her makeup done and nails painted, but she is also pretty tough! She can be found most days painting with watercolors and sneaking popsicles from the freezer. She fits in a ride on her little princess bike whenever she can.

            Callie turned 6 in February. She started a dance class in the spring and had a recital in June which Tutu got to come to. She recently switched to Upward Cheer and will cheer at her first basketball game in January. She is a little actress who can put together a fashionable outfit with anything that’s laying around, and likes Barbie, singing and dancing.

Michael turned 8 in April and is taking gymnastics with Joel. He’s had Henry the King Betta for about a year now. Speaking of fish, he and Joel got to go fishing twice this year with Aron and their Poppy. Michael got 1st in Pinewood Derby for siblings again and 1st in Raingutter Regatta! In the spring we got to go down by Kemper Arena for his Junior First Lego League competition, which was amazing (his team built a little mobility scooter). The boys are crazy for Pokemon cards right now!


Joel turned 10 in June and we keep him in playdates galore. Always the businessman, he shoveled driveways when the snow hit and sold lemonade all summer. He went to Cub Scout camp and was top seller of popcorn in his pack, along with winning 2nd place in Pinewood Derby again and 3rd in Raingutter Regatta! He still has Daisy the Hamster and now also Herman the Hermit Crab. He likes to volunteer at Harvester’s with Grandpa Mac, and a couple of weeks ago he built the World’s Biggest Leaf Pile with his dad and siblings (I helped!).

I turned 40 in June and Aron had a big party for me with Mexican catered food, a DJ, moonwalk, Adirondack chairs and a rented red Mustang convertible! I started Bible study at Holy Trinity (the 3 oldest kids go to Catechesis of the Good Shepherd at the same time), and otherwise I’m just sitting around the house homeschooling, stripping wallpaper, being involved in Scouts, blogging, writing (for 93 magazines!) and (as Sam gets older) I’m even getting my photos organized so I can start scrapbooking again. I’ve always been pretty lazy like that.

            Aron turned 45 in November without a party L However, I did rent him a red convertible Camaro for a week, and we had fun! He’s had to go to Phoenix some this year for work, but thanks to Jordan we’ve been able to go on a few dates this year! He’s still a Cub Scout Den Leader, Religious Ed teacher (Joel, Michael and Callie go to class) and awesome dad and husband. We’ve been together for 16 years now, and I don’t know how he puts up with me!

This year found us going on tons of outings: to the pool, the zoo, nature centers, farmsteads, museums, parks, pet stores, seeing friends and family and more. To keep up with us, check out TheKerrieShow.com, where I regularly post photos and other fun family information (and inflammatory opinions!).

Here’s hoping 2012 is even better than this year for everyone. Take care of yourselves and of each other ©
Love from Aron, Kerrie, Joel, Michael, Callie, Eva and Sam McLoughlin

Friday, December 16, 2011

I Got a Whipped Cream Pie in the Face

Well, it's about time. I know a lot of people have been dying to pie me in the face for a very long time. Last night my son Joel got to do it. Here's how it happened:

Joel wins a $40 WalMart.com gift card and Zyclone gun for being top popcorn seller in the pack
Then Joel got his sweet Top Seller prize: a Thermarest bedroll, which will keep his tootsies warm on winter campouts
The 5 top sellers got to pick a den leader to give a whipped cream pie in the face. I had told Joel earlier that he could do me if he absolutely was dying to.

Yep, the boy got me good. Shoulda smeared it my hair better, though!

Yum!

Thursday, December 15, 2011

For Kids and People Who Hate Math

Actually, this book rec is for kids who LOVE math, who HATE math, who TEACH math, and even for ADULTS who loved or hated math. This rec is also for parents who are struggling through math homework with their kids or who need a fun math supplement.*

I have found the most awesome book for teaching math to kids. I know, I know, you are saying, "Kerrie, put this crap on your homeschooling mommybot blog, girl. I don't give a flying fig about how you teach math to your little hellion children."

WAIT! Listen up! Because this series is so funny that my kids BEG their dad and I to read it to them at bedtime. My husband thinks this will never work because they aren't doing "drill and kill" math (you remember, the endless worksheets doing stuff you either hadn't a clue how to do or else knew after the first 2 problems!!!). It's now up to me to prove to Aron that the kids CAN learn math this way, and MORE! Oh, and just because you don't have worksheets, you still have "problems" (he calls is "Your Turn to Play" at the end of each short chapter and the answers are on the other side of the page), and they range from simple to logical to things to draw to funny.

This set of books is called "Life of Fred" and starts with the elementary series. The first book is called Apples, then there's Butterflies and they go in alphabetical order. The books go all the way up to teaching CALCULUS, for gosh sake! They are so great because they tell the goofy story of a "kid" named Fred, who is 5 years old and a university teacher. Sometimes there is an Intermission for adult readers only, like:

"I am going to put this in tiny type so that kids won't read it [Kerrie says, so of COURSE they are going to think it is forbidden and will read it!!!!!! Genius!]. Some kids will be dying to know how to draw a circle inside of any old triangle. Since I'm not telling them how to do it, they may ask you. I'll pass the secret on to you, so that you can appear really smart."

*They are hilarious
*They are set in Kansas
*They sneak in learning (geometry for 1st graders? who knew?). What other 6-year-old on the block knows who Archimedes is?????
*They sneak in God (sets of 10 include toes, fingers, Commandments)
*They teach logic because sometimes the stories are so messed up and silly ... how is a 5-year-old a college teacher? How come his doll can draw like an artist? Where did Fred's common sense go?
*They make me excited to learn math. I HATED math in school. My teachers blew through stuff and I was lost. ONE year I had a great teacher for Geometry in high school and the entire class got As because she waited until everybody understood.

*I'm not getting any money or books in exchange for writing this post. I just stumbled upon something great thanks to my awesome Facebook homeschool group, and wanted to share because I like to laugh and I like to see my kids learn without crying or their eyes glazing over! I bought the first book online for $16 and am borrowing the rest from friends until I can buy the whole series.

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

BIG Announcement ... Come to the Blog

Gotcha! Sorry about that. You probably think I'm pregnant, but no, I do not currently have anyone residing in my womb. I just wanted to tease you a little bit. To reward you for your obedience, I will share something personal about myself that I recently learned (and you also get to see a picture of my kids loafing around from last summer):

I don't wash my hands after a poopie diaper change because I am worried about germs. I wash them because I don't want my hands to smell like poop.

Have a great week ... our tree is up, presents are being wrapped, photo cards are being picked up today, my new mommy business cards are in, and the Christmas letter is in the works (not really; I'm procrastinating that one).

Monday, December 12, 2011

Pokemon Cake, Barbie/Cookie Monster Cupcakes

Here are the promised photos of Eva's Pikachu Pokemon cake and her doll and Cookie Monster cupcakes. They were made by my friend's 12-year-old homeschooled daughter (A&A's Custom Cakes), and you can find her on Facebook by clicking here. If you live in Kansas City, have her make you a cake or cupcakes! Peruse her online portfolio!



Sunday, December 11, 2011

Go On a Date With Your Kid!

I'm having a little downtime today to decorate our Christmas tree (real this year!), so check out my piece over at North Texas Kids called How (and Why) I Date My Kids. Have a great Sunday!

Saturday, December 10, 2011

My First Mammogram. I'll Treasure It Always.

Welcome to 40, ladies! Yesterday I got to go for my very first mammogram. Then I couldn't shut up about it, so I'd like to apologize to all the moms, dads, kids and babies I told about my mammogram yesterday at the homeschool Christmas party. That was probably uncalled-for.

What IS called-for is for me to tell YOU about it. You are lucky because you can just delete the post. The poor people at the party had to give me an awkward smile and then try to meander away. Again, sorry.

It was all actually quite simple and fast and painless. It was also awkward as hell. Let me explain.

So I arrive on time and as I wait the 20 minutes for my little appointment I got an article edited ... whoppee! Productivity! Then I was led to a room where I got to strip from the waist up and put on a hospital gown (can't they make those things prettier?!), open in the front. Then I got to awkwardly stand in front of a woman in a room while she asked me all sorts of questions about live births and nursing and family history. I may as well have been on a stage.

Then the fun part began. She warned me that she would be flopping my boob (THUNK) onto the little machine thingie. I'd had women handle my boobs when I was learning to nurse, and my male doc does my breast exam every year (and every dang year I blush), but it was still weird.

So first my boob got SMEESHED up and down. Then side to side. Then we did it on the other side. It was quick and painless.

I went in with a smile, happy to have insurance and happy we have this sort of technology.

I did it for Giuliana Rancic and for my family. I'll do it again next year. It wasn't so bad.

Friday, December 9, 2011

McDonald's Sock Policy -- They Ran Out!!!

Okay, you will NOT believe this. You know how I wrote about McDonald's playland sock policy earlier this year? I was so freaking mad at the way I was treated by this one guy. I now know his name is George, because I had to see him the other day when we went for Eva's birthday. So we all get into the McDonald's (a treat for Eva's birthday) to eat and play. The kids start taking off their coats and shoes and it comes to my attention that Callie HAS ON NO SOCKS. I think I have some in the car but it's colder than a witch's you-know-what in a brass bra and I am NOT going outside. So I suck it up and BUY SOME SOCKS for one dollar.

When we get our food, Roberto tells us they are OUT OF SOCKS! Are you dying right now?! It's DECEMBER in KANSAS! They like to harrass people about wearing socks and THEY ARE OUT!

On a different note, I find it hard to dog out McDonald's too hard because one of my favorite people in the world works there and his name is Roberto. He's worked there for years and years and always gives my kids extra toys and takes my food into the playroom and gets us ketchup. So on Eva's birthday I had to snap a picture of, like, the BEST employee ever. I mean, the guy is amazingly bilingual and speaks Spanish with me so patiently every time I see him (which used to be a lot). This guy should be managing a huge company with his customer service skills, not working at McDonald's. I hope they pay him VERY well because he rocks. If you see him, tell him he's famous (ha!).

Thursday, December 8, 2011

Do Moms Need a Break?

I don't know what I was thinking when I made this flippin' sign. Heard of WISHFUL THINKING?! I must have been having a hard day and put myself in a 2-minute time-out in my room to avoid blowing up at all the chaos that was happening.

Here's my question: doesn't everyone need a break? I mean, even regular working Joes get a smoke break if they need it. Recently Aron and I went on a date and talked about me getting out of the house more alone since Sam is getting older and stays at home well with Jordan or Aron. He thinks I need 2 hours to myself TWICE A WEEK.

Here's the thing: that sounds great. I don't LOVE being away from my kids, but I could sure use some UNINTERRUPTED time to scrapbook and to write articles. It would be cool to be productive AND to make some money to pay for my chocolate habit.

So why do I feel guilty when I leave the house and have a lovely, recharging time? This is such a cliche by now, but I truly do feel like a better mom when I get some time away from my kids. I guess it was always easier to find my sanity at home when I wasn't homeschooling, when I wasn't trying to write for money, when I wasn't caring for 5 human beings, when those precious human beings didn't talk so much, when they weren't in so many activities!

I know taking care of a baby is physically hard. Taking care of a child as he grows up is the hardest thing you will ever do emotionally, spiritually and more. A person needs to take a break when they are doing the most important job in the world.

How do you get your breaktime in?

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Trash Disposal Changes in Overland Park

We have some changes to our trash service coming up in 2012, and some people are freaking out. Pretty soon we can only put out so much trash each week. Otherwise, we'll have a limited number of stickers to use so we can put out a little bit extra each year. Our trash service won't take ANY yard waste anymore.

I say it's about damn time! And bring it on! My mom has been preaching recycling to me since I was peeing in my pants. (and after delivering 5 kids naturally, I sometimes still do that)

It's not hard to recycle, folks. You would think my family of 7 would make TONS of trash. Nope. We recycle half of what we use. We used cloth diapers and breastfed for 10 years, drastically cutting our consumption of trash (think of the diapers used by the Duggars!). Even now that I'm mostly on disposable diapers, we don't make much more trash than before. Oh, and we compost our leaves in our garden. I realize not everyone can do that, and that's where the extra stickers come in.

The times I make more trash are, say, after a birthday party or after Christmas. Or after I do a huge purge of the house and find too much stuff that I can't donate or give to friends.

What's trash pickup like where you live? Are you way ahead of us here in a shee-shee area of Kansas?

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Happy Birthday to Eva, Who is Fo

Eva is fo today. That means my kids are 2, 4, 6, 8 and 10. We like to keep things in the even digits around here. I don't have a photo for you right now because my flash drive is ????? and my cord to get pictures off my camera onto a computer is ????? but don't fear for my sanity, folks. I have a great day planned.

Stephen will love that I'm braving McDonald's today. Before you judge, let me just say they have Hello Kitty toys and Eva loves Hello Kitty. I don't think we've been inside McD's for months. We will be sure to wear socks and surgical gloves. Would someone please send me a petri dish/swabbing kit to take the next time I go?

Then we get to see my dad and stepmom, who are bringing over a gift for Miss Happy Little Naughty Eva. Then we load into the car like the hellions we are and go to a friend's house to play. Maybe I can do some 2007 scrapbooking if the kids play nice. We'll see.

Then we get a brief "downtime" ... then WHOOSH ... off to religious ed class and gymnastics. Religious ed is work for my oldest 3 and Aron, but the 2 littlest and I hang out in the nursery to play. Then on to gymnastics for more playing while we wait for the boys to be done gymnasticking.

I'll get some photos up soon ... a friend's homeschooled kid made some awesome cakes/cupcakes for Eva's Saturday at-home party. Plus I took a pic of Eva sleeping this morning that is precious.

Gotta go ... Eva is running around in her usual swimsuit as there is snow on the ground here. Usually we just throw a fancy dress on over her swimsuit and head out!

Sorry to beat you over the head with my articles, but I have to pimp this piece yet again, only because I think it's cool that it's in NOLA Baby & Child (New Orleans!).

Monday, December 5, 2011

We Are a Nation of Big Babies

*beware: I'm cranky today!

I swear I get my best blog post ideas (i.e., stuff to make fun of) from watching 2 seconds of The Today Show once a week. This morning this woman is talking about being the Mall Germ Patrol. First of all, she says restrooms are incredibly germy. I have known people who have done acrobatics to avoid touching door handles and sink handles and toilet seats, etc. I LOVE when I go to pee and someone before me has peed all over the freaking toilet in an effort to not have her tender little butt touch the seat.

First of all, unless you scratch your butt all the time, you probably won’t catch a cold from your ass touching the seat. Second of all, THANK YOU so much for leaving pee on the toilet for ME to either sit on or clean up. You are a real thoughtful jerkette!

THEN I find out that the faucet handle is nasty germy and that you should not touch it. Can I just say that I am a very healthy person compared to many people I know. AND I rarely wash my hands. I used to be mildly ashamed of the fact, but now I am coming out of the healthy closet. My kids are the same. We don’t “wash up before dinner” and if all we do is pee we don’t wash our hands after we use the bathroom. We are a very healthy family. We’d probably be sicker if we washed our hands in public restrooms more often.

Then this dumb woman says try not to touch the escalator handles!!!! And that if you have to, wear your mittens. I’m sure that will work well in California and Florida where they always carry mittens with them. Then of course do NOT touch your face with your mitten. If you have an itch, suffer through it. I just got an idea for a great invention: sanitary itching sticks. They come one to a package and you don’t have to touch anything unsanitary to itch your nose or eye!

Then I had to turn it off because I was griping too loud about us being a nation of big babies (only I didn’t use the word BABY; I used a word that starts with a P). Look, all I know is that most of us would not survive another Great Depression because we might die if we did not have our Purell clutched tightly to our bosom at all times.

Saturday, December 3, 2011

LEGO Advent Calendar

Catholics take Advent very seriously. So does the LEGO Company.
Michael wants this so bad! But by the time he would get it for Christmas, Advent would be pretty much over. I got them these $1 chocolate Advent calendars at Aldi for a grand total of 5 bucks, and this LEGO one is like $30. I told God that if I get a writing check in the mail today for $30 or more I might just have to go get one because it looks like fun. We shall see.

Friday, December 2, 2011

Thursday, December 1, 2011

God Gives Me a Mommy Break ... and a Kleenex Person

I took this picture one day last week when Aron was out of town. Things can get pretty crazy around here, as I'm sure you can guess, but there came a point in our day when I realized the kids were QUIET and were ALL working happily at the dining room table. Of course I had to take a photo of this rarity and treasure the moment. This little creative session yielded this gem from Michael:

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