Sunday, September 13, 2009

Tattoo Artistry

I’m such a puss I’d rather give birth than get a tattoo. They have “sedation dentistry” … I wonder if they will someday have “sedation tattoo-itry.”

A lot of chicks get the classic butterfly tattoo when they are young (I’m not naming names here!). I think it symbolizes that fact that nobody can hold them down. They are free, man. And stuff like that. A few women I’ve seen with tats recently have told me they regretted getting it, but I think it’s pretty bad-ass.

My tattoo would be across my back. It would be a va-jay-jay with the names of my kids flying out of it. Too vulgar?

Or maybe instead a picture of me nursing a baby on one side and using a laptop on the other side with the names of my kids coming out of the laptop?

Another thing about tattoos … do these young ladies who get huge tattoos across their hip or stomach realize what that’s going to look like if they get pregnant or fat or old?

I love when Kat Von D of LA Ink says, “It’s not rocket surgery.”


  1. I'm wimpy right there with you. I know what I want, it's a $5,000 full back Yakuza looking thing that will never happen. Mainly because my color is to dark to truly support it.

    Most of the women in my life have had tattoos and they are very taseteful, "professional safe", and won't won't cause people to say "What the hell is that?" when they are 87.

    The hard part with younger girls getting tatts is that it is usually to rebel against parents saying you are not doing that. I remember a high school friend that couldn't get her ears pierced due to her parents view. Once she was old enough to do it without parent consent, I think she got every piercing possible.

    Yeah, there is laser surgery, but as long as you think through what and where you want your tattoo, you won't need to consult a laser surgeon.

    And yes, I love the tatts I have been fortunate enough to love.

  2. I wanted a tattoo since I was a little kid, but it took me until I was 36 to figure out what to get.

    I think it fits me about like a 'va-jay-jay' spewing offspring would fit you... I think you should definitely get that.

  3. He Kerrie!

    Wow!!! What's it been, 20 years? I have to say that you were almost certainly the ONLY person in 4 years of high school that was genuinely nice to me for no reason other than just being nice!

    Well it looks like everything is going very well for you and you have held up remarkably well!

    Per your blog post, I've got a little over a half sleeve (my right arm from my shoulder down to mid forearm) and I LOVE THEM. The only regrets I have is that I didn't get more and didn't get them sooner LOL.

  4. They should have a warning at tattoo shops that say "Warning: that dolphin tatoo is cute now but please keep in mind that if you ever get pregnant, that cute little dolphin will turn into a whale." Then what happens when the girl's stomach never looks the same again? Stretchmarks? A stretched out, retarded looking dolphin?

  5. I saw the coolest tattoo I've ever seen in my life. So much that I had to apologize to her for staring because I was mesmerized. It was a goddess with huge breasts with milk squirting out of one nipple, water out of the other, holding a baby in one was incredible. If it means something powerful—I love it.


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