Last weekend the boys spent the night with my dad and step-mom. The night before Independence Day they spent the night with my mom and step-dad. You’d think I’d be thrilled to have only 2 kids to care for. But I was a little bit sad and a little bit bored.
Part of it is selfish. When the boys are gone, Callie won’t sit down in the family room and watch TV by herself. Since I can only seem to relax when I’m nursing a baby to sleep, Callie hangs out with me while I try to write or strip wallpaper. Otherwise, I suck it up, go downstairs and either watch cartoons with her or read while also keeping an eye on Hurricane Eva.
Sure it was nice to go to the pool with only 2 kids and 1 husband to help out. But I’m in 4-kid mode nonstop, so I missed the boys.
The upside is I know they are having fun, being cared for and getting lots of love and attention. I’m a little paranoid about sleepovers and don’t just let them sleep anywhere.
I have several friends who don’t EVER let their kids go to sleepovers … that’s just a family rule. I have certain friends and family I trust to have my kids overnight. You can call me overprotective until you’re blue in the face … but I didn’t plan, help make, grow, grunt out, nurse for 2 years at least EACH, feed, love, hug, kiss, and WANT deeply these kids only to turn them over to someone who has a registered sex offender living underneath them or jump at every invitation to get rid of my kids so I can have some time to myself. It just doesn’t set well with me.
How do you feel about sleepovers outside your home?
Thursday, July 9, 2009
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4 rockin' comments:
Well, "Patrick" is 15 and stays at friends' houses very occasionally. If I know the parents are home and the child in question is polite and well-mannered, he may go.
But kids under about 10? Nope. If I had family nearby like you it might be different, because that is a different situation. :]
My kids are gypsies and, by rite of the situation they're mixed up in, sleep many places other than in the bed I sweep cracker crumbs out of every night before I tuck them in...however, on a recent trip to one grandma's house, I had to call and check up on an older kid I didn't know who I thought might be there with them...I don't know him or his family and so I don't trust them. Luckily I wasn't made to feel overly protective, the people who keep my kids when they're not with me are as overly protective of them as I am. You cannot be too careful about child molesters, and they come in every age, size, gender, and race.
Frequent sleepovers are new to our society as of late, and I think that they get overdone like the sports-music-activity overload trend.
I'm the no sleepover friend. And we will defintely carry that through high school, which I think is the even greater chance of things happening. Our reasons. #1, we both know from experience what crazy uncomfortable things can happen at sleepovers. I saw my first R movie at a friend's house with her parents in the room watching it with us. I was maybe 9-10. Very respectable people, still know them today. Obviously different parenting styles! #2 child molesters are not strangers, they are people we trust/know. VIRTUS training sold me on the dangers there. #3. I may totally trust the family, but I know nothing about the other kids or their families that are staying. #4 I'm not going to sit and think to myself, ok, I think it's ok to stay at Ellen's, but hmm, I'm not so sure about that weird lady Kerrie. An across the board decision eliminates me having to judge people as worthy or not.
We do allow them to go to the parties and then have the mom call me when everyone else is ready to go to bed. I am generally not the only parent that does this.
And this does flow with how we parent. Even though we both work, the children are always still only with me or Brian. We have no problems being the odd ones in our decision.
My kids will only be allowed to stay with family or a VERY few friends of mine (people that are like family and I have known forever). You simply can't trust people and it is hard to tell what type of people might show up. A mom might be the nicest person but what about her husband or her older sons friend that occasionally stops by. It is hard telling.
But as far as shipping them off for time to myself…absolutely. The recharging makes me a stronger happier mom. I need time to rejuvenate and breath.
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