Sunday, November 16, 2008

My Last Period Was a Zillion Years Ago

Back on the 2nd of November I was nursing a nasty ear infection (always with the breastfeeding humor!) and couldn’t fathom waiting until Monday to go to my doctor. So my dad came over to watch the 3 oldest kids so Aron, Eva and I could go to Urgent Care, which is located at a shi-shi (I’m trying to say uppity or snooty here) shopping mall. Why take a baby with us, you ask? Well, because I wouldn’t want to leave my poor dad with all 4 kids, especially since Eva is not even 1 yet. Plus she’s quite attached to me, still nurses, you know the deal. I just felt better having her there. She’s like Baby Medicine.

So Urgent Care charges my co-pay before I even see a doctor (so I can’t bolt?). Then the chick tells me I can WALK AROUND THE MALL if I want since it’s going to be a while. Yeah. I don’t want to walk around the mall when I feel GOOD. Why would I be at Urgent Care wanting to WALK AROUND THE MALL?

Once in the exam room, the nurse asks me my favorite question besides, “Do you want some chocolate?” She goes, “When was your last period?”

I put on my Thinking Face, looked at Aron, and said, “Hmmm, I think it was March. Of 2007. Yeah, about 20 months ago.” The nurse looked at me like I had just told her to F off. So I started explaining that I had been pregnant (the evidence was in my arms), then nursing and hadn’t gotten my period back yet. I think I’ve only had about a dozen periods in 8 years, and that’s only because we decided to put some space between the girls.

Forget coupons; pregnancy and nursing saves TONS of money in feminine products! I’m hoping that when I die someone will give me an exact figure of how much money I saved my family by attachment parenting, cloth diapering and being cheap.

The nurse was probably thinking the blood buildup from no periods had gone to my ear and my brain was being affected.

Then Aron attempted to make a surgical glove balloon for Eva to chew on, but it popped … loudly. He had also dressed Eva in only overalls (with no shirt like a hussy), so the nurse told us how adorable “he” (Eva) is. I’ve gotta put a barrette in that girl’s hair.

As we drove to CVS clutching my new prescriptions, we discussed how we won’t buy the pain medicine if it’s one of the $50 drug co-pays. But then we decided they probably only charge the $50 co-pays on things like cancer patient medicine, meds for schizophrenics, and medicines old people need to live. Seems like something an insurance company would do.
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