When I Grow Up …

… I want to be a writer.

I’ll write a common sense parenting book that will get me a 6-figure advance like that stoopid “Stuff White People Like” blog that turned into a book. Then my husband can quit his job and do something he LOVES all day long, like woodworking in his big workshop in the basement of our new 2-story house that will NOT be on a busy street corner.

The goal is NOT to be rich, but to be able to do things we want to do and spend time with people we want to spend time with. And to be able to mail chocolate bars and gas cards to all my friends and family just because I love them.

The other goal is to NOT live on a street where drunk drivers run over street signs, causing me to worry that my children are not even safe on the damn sidewalk. And don't get me started about the e-mails that go out from school across the street saying teenage bullies are messing with little kids at the school park and that pervs are trolling for kids in broad daylight.

Aron will do high-end woodworking (he designs cool stuff) for 6 weeks, then we’ll travel for a few … places like Ireland, Italy, Germany. We’ll take the kids. We’ll buy an RV and park it on the land we’ll buy where our house will be. We’ll go other places, like Mount Rushmore, Mexico, Canada, New York City, North Carolina. It will be a homeschool kid's dream come true.

One small problem (or three): I need to find a babysitter who takes credit cards so I can have some cool teen play with my kids 2 hours a day so I can write. I’ll still do the homeschooling thing, of course, because I’m a control freak. And I’ll have to pay a maid service to clean my house. And my hygiene will go out the window (even further).

What are your dreams?